The end of an era...

As I was driving home from 8th grade promotion Wednesday night, I realized just how much my life is changing, and has changed already.  Let me assure that by no means do I think that's a bad thing.  Quite the opposite actually.  But, a change nonetheless.  And for me, change can be hard.

Let me start at the beginning.  In December of 2003, I exited the credential program at Fresno Pacific a spry young 22-year-old who was determined to change the world, one kid at a time.  I got my first job teaching kindergarten the following February.  I quickly realized, the young ones weren't my forte.  At the end of the year, I got pink slipped, and considered it a gift from heaven.  =)  That summer, I applied everywhere, only to hear over and over, "It came down to you and one other person.  We decided to go with the other person because _________."  Either the other person was a man (in an elementary school, men are not always common), spoke another language, or had more experience than me.  I started getting discouraged.  But, God had plans.  He was moving in me and teaching me to be more like Him and to trust Him.  That was a summer of tremendous growth for me.

Then, 3 days before Fresno Unified started in August, I got a call from a principal.  He told me he had a 3rd grade long-term sub position that would likely turn into a contract.  Of course, I jumped at the opportunity and, through the help of family and friends, dove into getting a room and curriculum ready in only 3 days.  I managed to pull it off and LOVED it!  I was in that position for 10 weeks before I got the news that, due to some union issues, they were sort of forced to hire this other teacher.  I really feel like my principal was sorry he had to let me go.  He wrote me a great recommendation.... but that still didn't negate the fact that I didn't have a job.  At that point, Jeff was working in Central.  So, I started subbing and focusing my attention in Central.  A few good friends of mine, who were my age, were teaching junior high at the time, and I was able to sub for them a few times.  I realized that I could do junior high, and in fact, liked it better than I thought.  So, a position opened up at El Capitan Middle School, and I applied.  I remember feeling different in that interview than I had all the previous ones.  I felt self-assured, and calm.  And, I got the job.

I started in January, with 8th grade kids who had had the same teacher for 7th and the first half of 8th grade.  And, of course, she had a different teaching style than me.  She was more lax about things.  I was not.  So, that was a hellish first semester.  I would get a pit in my stomach everyday and would pray over my room before the kids walked in.  Somehow, we all survived.  And I was so happy to start the next year off with my rules and procedures from the beginning of the year.

In a way, that first grueling semester shaped me into a better teacher.  I knew exactly what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it.  I started off the next year tough as nails, but then was able to sit back and enjoy the kids because they had learned their boundaries in my class from day one.  And I'm so glad I stuck with it.  El Cap isn't the easiest of demographics, and it's definitely a "sink-or-swim" type school.  And, praise God, I swam.  And I loved it.  Junior high is everything I never knew I wanted.  I spent 6 years there.

Since I suddenly left last August (because of bedrest), I never really looked back until a few nights ago.  Though I'm happy to stay home with my own kids, I'm a little sad at the same time of what I have to say good-bye to.  This is where I truly became a teacher.  This is where I realized how much I really do love kids, and junior highers at that.  This is where I became confident in who I was in my career.  And there were so many people who helped in that process, whether they knew it or not.  Their daily presence and interactions with students spoke volumes to me and helped shape me into a better teacher.

I am excited about my new chapter... being a mommy and a part-time 4th grade teacher.  But, there will always be a part of me at El Cap.  I guess that's how life is... you grow and learn, and then say good-bye, and move onto the next phase.  And the cycle just repeats.

So for now, to all my El Cap friends who read this, I am so glad to have met all of you and have learned so much from you.  Thank you for sharing your life with me, for sharing ideas in the classroom with me, for sharing laughs at the lunch table with me, and for just sharing your life with me.  I will never forget you.