Over the last month or so, I've come to realize that a house is more than just 4 walls for protection from the elements. It is much more than that. It is a place where change happens. It is a place where memories are made. It is a place that can contain any emotion you throw at it. It is a place of refuge. And though our house was smaller, and older, and not in a super nice area... it became all that for me.
And I was sad to leave it last Saturday.
I was sad to leave the boys' room that we so lovingly created for them before they took their first breath. I was sad to leave our fruit trees that we ate from every day this summer. I was sad to leave our yard and plants that we had spent hours on, working the ground to get things the way we wanted. I was sad to leave our master bathroom that we gutted and redid. I was sad to leave the dreams we had for that place and the dreams that we had already fulfilled.
I had entered that house in 2005, and left it in 2012 a completely different person. Our struggles with keeping my pregnancies and loosing two babies happened there. My hours of bedrest as I tried my best to protect our boys in my womb was there. Christmases, birthdays, our first trick-or-treaters, neighbors, the stray cat that had kittens in our yard and we kept two of them... all those memories.
But you know what I've learned through this? Those memories didn't stay with the house. They are a part of ME, of who I am. They've shaped me and molded me into the person I am today. And they won't stop just because we've moved. We will make new memories in our new house, at Hume... wherever God takes us.
Change is one of the few things guaranteed in life. And I firmly believe that you have to go through a period of mourning the past before you can fully embrace the future. For some, that mourning is just an "awwww... alright let's go". And for others it takes a little longer. I think that most of my mourning happened in the weeks that led up to our move. But this post is also part of that mourning process for me. Sometimes I feel like I have to put into words what I'm feeling and get it "out" before I can move on. This blog has been that for me. Thanks for sticking with me as I wear my heart on my sleeve. =)
Any-who... here are some pics of our last night as a family in our Clovis house on Ashcroft. We decided to spend it in our backyard, playing in buckets. And it was our last night with our cats. We can't have pets up here (unless it can live in a cage). So, our cats became the property of our neighbors, since they are over there 50% of the time anyway. Here's our attempt to take a few family pictures and memorialize that night. Enjoy!
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| This was the best attempt with the cats. The ENTIRE family! |
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| As a toddler, this is the only way to play in the water during Fresno summers... naked! |
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| Ethan (and Sam) mastered the hose nozzle... |
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| ...then he decided to taste it. Yum! |
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| Bye Calvin and Mac! I'm sorry we kicked you out of the house a few years ago. It was between my breathing (since I found out I was allergic to you) or you guys being indoor kitties. My breathing won. But we still loved you! Have fun with the neighbors and all your new kitty brothers and sisters! |
On our actual last night in the house, the boys spent the night with Jeff's parents and we worked into the wee hours of the night packing. Then the next day, Jeff's parents drove the boys up after their nap. They got here around dinner time, so they completely missed the craziness of packing, unloading, and setting up the necessities, which was the best thing for them. So the pics below are right before we took S and E to their grandparents' house for the evening. Please disregard the disheveled and weary parents...it was a long two weeks up to this point. =)
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| The Last Supper |
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| Reading in the boys' room for the last time (we also read actual books, not just the sunscreen label) |
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